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Call them cheaters, swingers, or "whatever couples"—the bottom line is these couples buck monogamy for a more open approach to their relationship.
Sex with another person is allowed, but it's not flaunted or discussed outside the household. THE SCIENCE OF MONOGAMY "There are a wide variety of open-relationship models out there, and they can vary drastically from one couple to another," says David Barash, Ph.
Neither wanted to end it, but both agreed their desire to experiment with others wasn't something they were ready to abandon just yet.
"It was painful," says Karen*, "but the fact that we could be so honest with each other, I think, made our love stronger." Full disclosure allowed them to clear the quiet tension that had been building between them.
Guys like the idea of freedom for themselves, but the thought of their girl doing the same is too much to handle.
"Men have to under- stand that women are loyal," he says, perhaps naively.
You picked the hottest girl at your high school (or at least the hottest one you could get), married her, and enjoyed your small-town life.
Jake Scott*, 26, an investment banker originally from Virginia Beach, started getting into trouble the moment he moved to New York City.
Both types of relationships can survive, but you have a lot of minefields to overcome to make it happen." Philip Gale*, a 28-year-old Hollywood agent who lives in Los Angeles, learned that the hard way.Their openness isn't a license to bed everything in sight—respect and discretion rule. D., professor of psychology at the University of Washington and co-author of The Myth of Monogamy."Having an open relationship can work really well for some people," he says.Before, I'd often wonder if I'd be happier with one of these other women.Now, I know they can't come close to what I already have." INDECENT PROPOSAL Kevin johnson* always knew he'd marry a "good girl." He wasn't looking for a virgin, but he wanted someone who'd only been with a couple of guys.