Dating handle rejection 100 dating black singles
Nevertheless, the current language "blames" and "labels" them negatively, leading to something called "cognitive distortions", unfair internalized images of themselves, and bad feelings.
Below, I will tease apart some of these false assumptions - beginning with a quick discussion of "cognitive distortions" in general.
Then, recognizing that there’s a difference between regular rejection (which happens to everyone) and a continued pattern of rejection (a sign to make some changes), I followed up with a post on patterns of repeated rejection and what they mean. As I said in the last post, if you’re facing repeated rejection in dating, it’s time to start problem solving.
, I talking at length about complaining versus problem solving in dating. If you believe the problem lies in something (or someone) else’s hands, you’re stuck.
Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor I've received multiple requests to discuss a difficult dating topic - "dealing with rejection". The misconceptions, bad behavior, and hard feelings surrounding rejection can sometimes create deep wounds.
I've seen too many good men and women suffer needlessly because of it.
A Few Suggestions Once you identify any patterns of rejection, now comes the more challenging part: figuring out what you’re doing wrong. This is even more daunting, but feedback can tell you volumes.
Here are a few things to consider: Try something new. We learn more from our mistakes than our successes. If you aren’t attracting the people you want online, change your pics or re-write your profile and see if anything changes. You want to give them permission to be honest and avoid punishing them for their honesty.
If you’re a talker on dates and wonder if that’s responsible for not getting a second date, talk less next time and see what happens. For every problem, there’s someone who knows more about it than you do… Email them and say something like this: I enjoyed hanging out with you.
As a result, "rejection" is an important topic for successful and respectful dating and relating.
It also has two sides: I will address "managing" in this article and speak to "declining" in Part 2.
BUT, those negative feelings are made MUCH worse by false assumptions about rejection (the cognitive distortions above). There are many reasons why someone can be disinterested and very few of them relate to you at all.