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Meeting for a quick coffee early in the process isn’t always feasible, however. There are good reasons that asking questions and listening well are relationship superpowers.
So what else can help you stay safe and date smart when you meet someone interesting online? Guard yourself against the assumptions and idealizations that can flourish in a long distance relationship. Don’t just think about the image you are presenting to this prospective partner, think about what they are telling you. Often we neglect the basics because we’re looking for a surefire tip or a secret answer we just haven’t figure out yet.
Finally, most of us are not as careful when we meet someone online as we would be if we had met them in a coffee shop.
We share more details about ourselves, more quickly.
However, when you meet online (and especially when you meet someone who lives far away) it is particularly easy to assume that this other person is more suited to us than they actually are.
In the process, you sometimes don’t listen carefully to what the other person is saying (or not saying) about themselves.
You can forget to think carefully about whether you might be truly compatible.
Literally millions of people (including me) who first met online are now married, and psychologists are starting to examine these relationships. One independent study surveyed almost 20,000 Americans who met their spouse online.
If you meet online does that tend to make you more or less compatible? Those of us who met their partners online will find the results encouraging. In fact, people who met online were slightly less likely to divorce and scored slightly higher on marital satisfaction.” (Bohannon, 2013, Online marriage is a happy marriage). scientific support for what many of us have known for years – meeting someone online can work.